Overcoming Shyness. 克服害羞。
“Tomato Girl” is a short story about a young girl who is just too shy to talk to people. It is written by a French novelist, the name of whom has been translated into Chinese as 露荷·蒙路布 and translated by 武娟. We cannot find this writer on google as the translation of the name, from French to Chinese and now from Chinese to English as ‘Luho Montlupu’ does not result in the right person, born in France in the year 1976. The Chinese YouTube introduction to this book can be found in the following Chinese YouTube video.
https://youtu.be/ZT-jNk_Dz4g 【20200504】《西红柿女孩》写给内向孩子 透视儿童害羞心理 帮助孩子做好自己【都市1时间】【湖南都市频道.
《西红柿女孩》是一个关于一个年轻女孩的短篇小说,她很害羞,无法与人交谈。它是由一位法国小说家撰写的,该小说家的名字被译成中文,名为露荷·蒙路布,并被武娟翻译。我们无法在Google上找到这位作家的名字,即名字的翻译,从法语到中文,现在从中文到英语,因为“ Luho Montlupu”并没有找到合适的人,他于1976年出生于法国。这本书可以在以上YouTube中文视频中找到这本书。
One of the first steps to get her to overcome her shyness is to allow her to practice in a socialized environment. Get her involved in team games where she has to communicate with her friends. Encourage her to talk to you whenever possible by asking her open-ended questions. When she is answering your questions, do not be too critical in finding mistakes in her answers. Use encouraging phrases like, “That is excellent, but how about … … … ” to allow her to think more and to give you an answer to your next question.
When going somewhere, prepare her mentally by telling her where you are bringing her and who will be there. Let her practice in her mind the meeting of the people you expect to meet by asking her questions like, “We are going to see your cousin Susan, do you remember her?” “Susan is about your age, remember, and what game did you play with her the last time you saw her?” She is less likely to feel shy when she knows what to expect and what to do and say.
We need to teach her the necessary skills to be successful in any situation. Roleplay with her as often as necessary in each of the following circumstances:
(a) Meeting and greeting people.
(b) Giving and receiving compliments.
(c) Treating friends in school.
(d) Dealing with bullies in school.
(e) Table manners at meals.
Invite one or two of her friends to the home for a sleep-in over the weekend and engage them with physical games and activities so that she can practice her interactions with others.
The website https://www.chla.org/blog/rn-remedies/help-your-child-overcome-shyness provides the following tips for dealing with shyness in children:
Help Your Child Overcome Shyness
Usually, shyness is not a big concern and is most likely a temporary behavior. The following are some easy strategies you can use, at home, to help your child overcome shyness:
- Don’t label your child as shy, try explaining to others that your child is slow to warm up to others but do your best to not label the behavior.
- Support your child’s social confidence by not pushing him or her into uncomfortable social situations quickly, or without warning. Start with small groups or well-controlled social situations. It helps to role-play before any social event that might trigger shyness.
- Empathize with your child’s behavior and avoid shaming. For example, try sharing times in your childhood where you can remember feeling shy, explain the emotions behind those feelings. Encourage your child to use their own words to describe their feelings.
- Be responsive to their needs.
- Model confident behavior with others — be friendly towards strangers in supervised settings and model a relaxed attitude about social interactions of all kinds.
- Teach your child not to be afraid of all strangers, focus instead on teaching your child to stay with an adult that is responsible for their care (e.g. parent, teacher or babysitter).
- Teach your child social skills. This can be as simple as arranging play dates or participation in playgroups.
- Teach your child social skills words such as “Can I play too?” When they are older, teach them social skills such as handshaking and making good eye contact when interacting with others.
- Provide positive reinforcement and praise for your child. Look for opportunities to build their self-esteem and confidence. Children who feel good about themselves tend to be more confident.
Shyness is a very common behavior that most children experience at some point in their development. It is important to remember that it can be a temporary issue with the right intervention.
让她克服害羞的第一步就是让她在社交环境中练习。让她参与必须与朋友交流的团队游戏。鼓励她通过提出开放性问题来与您交谈。当她回答您的问题时,不要太挑剔地寻找答案中的错误。使用鼓励性的短语,例如“那太好了,但是……呢……”,让她思考更多,并为您解答下一个问题。 当去某个地方时,告诉她要带她去哪里以及谁会在那里,请做好心理准备。让她在脑海中练习您希望与之会面的人,问她一些问题,例如:“我们将去见您的堂妹苏珊,您还记得她吗?” “苏珊是和一洋大, 一 洋你的年龄,记得吗?上次见到她的时她和她玩了什么游戏啊?”当她知道该期待什么,该做什么和该说什么时,她就不太可能感到害羞。 我们需要教给她必要的技能,以便在任何情况下都能取得成功。在以下每种情况下,根据需要与她经常进行角色扮演: 遇见陌生人时,怎样说问候人的话。 怎样给予和接受赞美。 在学校里怎样对待朋友。在学校怎样处理恶霸。 用餐时的餐桌礼仪。 周末邀请一个或两个朋友到家里睡觉,并与他们进行体育游戏和活动,以便她可以练习与他人的互动。https://www.chla.org/blog/rn-remedies/help-your-child-overcome-shyness网站提供了以下处理儿童害羞的技巧: 不要将您的孩子贴上害羞的标签,请尝试向他人解释您的孩子对别人的预热很慢,但是请尽最大努力不要给她的行为加标签。不要在没有警告的情况下迅速将孩子推入不适的社交环境,以支持孩子的社交信心。从小组或良好控制的社交环境开始。它有助于在可能引发害羞的任何社交事件之前进行角色扮演。 善待孩子的行为,避免羞耻。例如,尝试分享童年时光,让您记住自己的害羞情绪,并解释这些情绪背后的情绪。鼓励您的孩子用自己的语言来描述他们的感受。 为您的孩子提供积极的支持和赞美。寻找机会建立自尊和自信。对自己感觉良好的孩子往往更自信。 害羞是大多数儿童在成长的某个阶段所经历的非常普遍的行为。重要的是要记住,正确的干预可能是暂时的问题。